Wait...How did this happen?!

Growing up, my parents always told me to work hard in everything that I did so that I could accomplish any goals that I set for myself. They told me to work hard in school and get good grades so that I could get a good education. My dream job was to become a teacher. I had no idea what grades or subjects I wanted to teach, but I figured that I would come to find that out sooner or later. I thought maybe I would like to teach math, seeing that it was my favorite subject, but who knew? Maybe I could teach something else. Between my days as a young child to the time that I graduated from high school, I started to want a job that would pay more and started to think that I would study Actuarial Science to which most people would ask me, "What's that?" I would just say, "It's a combination of a lot of things like math, computer science, economics, and stuff like that. Most actuaries work for insurance companies and work as risk management people." I thought that it would be fun to study something that most people didn't know about because it would make me look smart and besides that, actuaries make lots of money!!!

I made the decision to go to the University of California, Santa Barbara (UCSB) since they were the only college in California that had Actuarial Science as a major. I did not know what to expect when I went to college, but I wanted to focus on my studies, graduate, and get a high-paying job. Never (in a million years) did I imagine that Jesus Christ would come into my life in such a radical way. I was raised Catholic, was an altar server for 6 years, and went to mass on Sundays. When I chose to go to UCSB, I did not think that anything in my faith would change. I thought that I would settle down, go to class, go to mass on Sundays, make friends, and that was it. Boy, was I wrong! 

During my second weekend at UCSB, my parents called me and asked me if I was going to mass, to which I said, "Probably." That night, I went to 7 pm Student Mass at St. Mark's University Parish. I showed up to a battered old building that looked nothing like a church, but when I went in and saw that I was surrounded by college students just like me, I felt at ease. I sat down in one of the chairs and listened to our priest give the homily and I was struck by the way in which he was able to connect with the students. I knew that after this moment, I was hooked and that I wanted to become friends with the people in this community. I soon joined a bible study and signed up for an annual Fall retreat that was put on by students. 

In November 2016, I attended the SEARCH retreat and had a radical experience in front of Jesus in Eucharistic Adoration. My last experience with adoration had been 2 years prior during my Confirmation retreat where I had a personal encounter with the Lord that made me realize that He had willingly laid down His life for me which moved me to tears. I knew then that I wanted Christ in my life and that I wanted to live my life for Him, though I had no idea how I would do that. SEARCH was the retreat that "sealed the deal" for me. As I was on my knees in front of Our Lord, I desired nothing more than to hear His voice. I prayed for Him to show up and He did not fail me. I clearly heard Him say, "I want you." At this, I freaked out and thought that Jesus wanted me to become a nun. Like actually become a nun... For life. I was 100% not down. I set the thought aside, and naturally, did not tell anyone for a couple of months. 

I finally came to the point where I could not keep it in anymore and had to tell someone. So when I decided to tell a close friend of mine, everything made sense. She said, "Alicia, you may or may not have a religious vocation, but Jesus is definitely calling you into a deeper relationship with Him." I wondered how I could do that and she told me to start going to the chapel and praying every day, even if it was just for 15 min. It was then that I decided that I wanted to grow in my relationship with Christ. I started to pray everyday and even starting going to daily mass and quickly fell in love with the person of Christ. I desired nothing more than to grow in relationship with Him and show others who He was. I could not earn His love, for He loved me as I was. The only thing I could do, was continue to show up and as my friend had told me, "Be honest and consistent." 

By the end of my first year, I had become very involved at St. Mark's and made several friendships within the community. I had even been placed on the Leadership Board and had started working at the parish. I loved my community very much and loved Christ even more. It was at the end of my 1st year that I realized that I would do anything for Jesus. Anything that He asked of me, I would do it...even if it meant becoming a nun. Though I still felt a tug in my heart urging me to look into religious life, I was pretty certain that it was not something that Jesus was asking me to focus on in that moment. And just to answer your questions now, I am pretty sure that religious life is not my vocation, however I am not closing the door to that because ultimately Jesus will reveal His will to me in His time. I did know, however, that after graduating from college, I wanted to do some sort of mission work. Something where I could give back to Jesus and completely give my life to Him in what I did. It's important for me to say that as part of the body of Christ, we are all called to be missionaries in some way, however, that calling looks different for everyone. Some are asked to go to their 9 to 5 jobs and radiate the love of Christ to their coworkers while others are asked to stay at home with their families, sacrifice for them, and love them well. In my case, I thought that Jesus was asking me to trust Him and give my life to Him in a different way. After much prayer, I realized that Jesus was calling me to a missionary lifestyle where I would have to put my career and family plans on hold for a while. I was okay with that because it was exactly what I desired.

Throughout my 1st, 2nd, and part of my 3rd year at college, I was only exposed to the beautiful mission of FOCUS (Fellowship of Catholic University Students). I loved our missionaries and was very good friends with them. They were part of the reason that I was able to grow so much in my faith during my time at UCSB. I looked to them and saw the ways that they lived their lives for Christ and how they were radically available to us as students. They made several sacrifices and I knew that I wanted to be able to love and sacrifice in a similar way. Though I loved FOCUS and even desired to do mission work with them, I knew that I wanted to do God's will above all things. 

During my 3rd year at UCSB, I attended a FOCUS SEEK conference in Indianapolis, where I came across the Farm of the Child booth. I was instantly drawn to them and their mission. I saw this organization and knew that it was tailored so perfectly for me. My thoughts were something along the lines of, "It's in Honduras and I speak Spanish. They work with K-9 kids and I love working with kids. They have a school and I could teach there and I literally want to be a teacher after graduating. Best of all, they are serving Christ in a way where they are asked to sacrifice and love." Of course, I did not know everything about their mission, but I knew enough to know that I was interested and I wanted more information.

Soon after SEEK, I contacted Farm of the Child for more information about their summer program. Though I ended up not participating in it, I knew that I hoped to work with them at some point. I did not know how, but with time Jesus started to reveal His plan to me. During that summer, one of our FOCUS missionaries and I had been having a conversation and had said that her and one of our other missionaries were leading a mission trip to Honduras and would be working with an organization called Finca del Niño in March 2020 and asked me if I was interested in going. I was so shocked in that moment since she had no idea that I had been in contact with them, but I said, "Yeah, I'm interested!"

 A couple of months into my 4th year, it was time to apply to Farm of the Child. During this time, there were small things that were happening in my life that were preparing me to say yes to Farm of the Child, though I did not see it as so at the time. There were times before graduating where I would get scared and think that Jesus did not want me to be a missionary and that I had maybe discerned incorrectly. I thought that maybe, at some point, I had started to put my own desires above His. However, I knew that I had to trust what Jesus's words to me and that my own desires were valid and true. I got more information from Farm of the Child and was sold. I applied shortly afterwards and was given an interview. A week after my interview, I was called back and was told that the missionaries in Honduras would love to have me join them!! I was so overwhelmed with joy and was so humbled that the Lord had given me this opportunity to serve Him. I still needed some time to pray about my final decision, though I was already leaning towards saying "yes." 

I knew that leaving my family and friends would be a difficult decision and I knew that I was going to be stripped of what I normally would take for granted so I chose to pray with Matthew 19:16-30, The Rich Young Man. As I read through this scripture passage there were a couple of verses that stuck out to me. The first verse was 21 where it says, "Jesus said to him, 'If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to [the] poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.'" Here I saw that Jesus was asking the man to trust in Him completely. He was asking the man to trust that He would provide for Him in a way that no one else could. I was reminded of the famous words of Pope Benedict XVI, "The world promises you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness." The young man was being called to be great. What was happening to the young man resonated a lot with me and the choice that I had to make.

As I read on, another verse caught my eye. Verse 29 says, "'And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands for the sake of my name will receive a hundred times more, and will inherit eternal life.'" Here is where my jaw dropped as I came to the realization that Jesus is so amazing in the promises He makes to us. When I read this verse I was like, "Okay so I am giving up my father AND my mother AND my brother AND my sister AND my land AND my house. Okay great. So I will be giving up basically everything for at least 15 months..." But I saw the promise that Jesus made in return. I would be receiving so much more than I would be giving. Yet I saw that Jesus would take care of my family as well in that they too would be giving me up as their daughter/sister. They would be doing it out of love for me and out of love for the Lord. They would be receiving so much more than they would be giving up. This verse sealed the deal for me. I knew that Jesus would take care of my family better than I ever could and I knew that He would take care of me as well. I cannot stress enough that Jesus is never outdone in generosity and He knew exactly what I needed to hear in order for me to be at peace with my decision to go to Honduras and serve the people there. 

A few days later, I gave my interviewer a call back and said, "yes." I was once again overwhelmed with peace and joy knowing that this is what Jesus was calling me to and what He had been preparing me for. If I had been told when I first started college that I would be moving to a different country after graduating, I would have never believed it. If I had been told that I was moving to that country to do mission work, I definitely would not have believed it. However, the ways in which Jesus arranged everything was so perfect and He knew exactly how to pull me closer to Him to the point where accepting His invitation was a fairly easy decision. Now I am here, patiently awaiting the time for my departure and the time when I get to meet all of the wonderful people that I will be working alongside for the next 15 months. 

I am very excited for the journey that Jesus has prepared for me and those that I will encounter during this time. Know of my prayers for you all! Til next time my friends! Love you all!

Alicia

Here I am when I received my official acceptance letter for Farm of the Child